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A new beginning recovery houses


Latest In Recovery Blog

Latest In Recovery Blog

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Christmas Toy Drive

Posted on 3 December, 2018 at 14:00 Comments comments (88649)
"A Promise To Jordan" will be collecting toys until December 20th for the men at Farrell Treatment center and other facilities to be able to give to their children on Christmas. Please help these dads make Christmas special for their children. If you would like to donate please give Rick at call at 203-909-5707 and he would be happy to pick it up. Thank you for your donations and have a happy and safe holiday!

Happy and Safe Holidays!

Posted on 30 November, 2018 at 14:25 Comments comments (12342)
Happy Holidays to everyone! The holidays are here and they are a great time to celebrate but there can also be lots of temptations. Here are 10 ways to help you to avoid holiday addiction relapses: 1. Start Each Day With a Plan to Fend Off a Relapse �??An alcoholic needs to wake up each morning thinking about how to stay sober that day,�?� says Peter R. Martin, MD, a professor of psychiatry and pharmacology and director of the Vanderbilt Addiction Center at the Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee. �??Once they have a plan, they should be fine for the rest of that day.�?� The key is staying focused on your goal of sobriety. 2. Evaluate Each Situation Rank scenarios as low, medium, or high risk for you. In early recovery, spend more time in low-risk situations and avoid high-risk, Rhine says. If you�??re further into recovery and will be in a situation that is medium- or high-risk, such as a party with an open bar, rely on your plan. Arrive early and duck out a bit early, she suggests. Drive yourself so that you can leave when you're ready. 3. Bring the Party With You Take along a food or safe drink that you enjoy. For instance, if champagne is a big temptation for you at a New Year�??s soiree, bring a flavored, sparkling water to sip as the clock counts down. 4. Know Your Triggers Addicts should know their triggers for relapse and how to manage them, Dr. Martin says. The most common triggers correspond to the acronym HALT �?? when you feel hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Take care of yourself, mentally and physically, to ward off these triggers. 5. Don�??t Forget to Eat Low blood sugar can leave you anxious or irritable, Rhine says. This, in turn, can make you feel impulsive and tempted by substances. Have a nutritious meal or snack about every three hours. 6. Keep Stress Under Control Many people turn to alcohol or illegal substances as a way to cope with stress. So when stress strikes, take a few minutes to decompress and meditate instead. Push away thoughts of substance use. �??Just because you have a thought doesn�??t mean you have to act on it,�?� Rhine says. Also make time for regular exercise. �??The urge to drink alcohol or use a drug often feels physical,�?� she explains, so giving your body something else to do can satisfy the craving. 7. Distract Yourself Bring along a buddy who doesn�??t drink, smoke, or use drugs to help you stay sober at social functions. Find an area far enough away from the bar, and strike up a conversation with someone. Offer to help your host so that you stay busy with little tasks. 8. Rehearse Responses If you�??re not ready to share the fact that you're in recovery with your elderly aunt or a distant cousin at your family holiday dinner, use a discreet strategy for turning down alcoholic drinks or other substances: Create a script that you can use to decline off-limits offers. 9. Learn to Move Past Your Cravings A craving only lasts about 20 minutes, Rhine says, so if you can stay strong for a short period, the urge should pass. Move to a different setting, meditate, or breathe deeply. Talk yourself out of acting on your urge, she suggests, by saying something like, "The reality is, I can't stop at one drink, and I can choose to have something non-alcoholic instead.�?� Remember how much is at risk if you give into your craving. 10. Lean on Your Support System If you're part of a support group, make time to attend a few extra meetings during the holidays to stay on track. If you need help finding a support group, the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence offers a list of organizations you can contact. Stay close with helpful friends and family and those you�??ve met during your recovery journey, and understand that your friends who abuse substances may have to celebrate without you this year.

New England Opiod Epidemic

Posted on 7 November, 2018 at 14:50 Comments comments (1731) Please click the link to read an in depth artical of how one town in New England is trying to help with this horrific opiod crisis. This opiod epidemic is real and is all around us.

Man in the Mirror

Posted on 15 September, 2018 at 16:40 Comments comments (11755)

Man in the Mirror

Sept 15th 2018 6:02pm

New Haven, Anonymous

"The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was far as most of us ever got."

Pg 66 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

"If you've only been through what I've been through. If you've only seen what i've seen. If you walk in my shoes for a day." All these and plenty more are accurate statements that I've told others and myself. Consistently in my drinking and even in my sobriety these prhases were thrown out quite a few times. I remember sitting in Detox, wallowing in self pity, filled to the brim in guilt and shame. I had nothing, but the clothes on my back, a hospital given hygeine bag, and a bag locked up in the hospital safe with my empty wallet. I could have been able to live with this, but the rest, the rest made me suicidal. I'm talking about the "real bottom." The spiritual bottom. That feeling of loneliness, uselessness, despair. The inability to control my emotional nature. The fact that I had committee meetings going on in my head that wouldn't let me get a qord in edge wise. The FEAR about what I was to do from there, how I was going to make a living, how was I to climb out of this hole of misery and depression? But how?

I began to roll the tapes. I needed to find out who's fault this was. I knew that I had put myself in that situation somewhat, but I still had a lot of blaming to do. If my mother only blah blah blah. If my father wasn't a junkie. If I wasn't left to be molested at that neighbor's house for years, if we weren't poor. I even had it in with god after I found the body of a murdered woman in my childhood apartment's cut thru. I developed this one belief that God was a balance keeper, and that in order for some to live, some had to die, in order for some to succeed, some had to fail...and I was one of those one's that had to fail. And I hated God for this. For this misfortune I came up with in my own delusion. I was supposed to slip through the cracks. And then something happened. I was introduced to AA in that detox. They were young guys, like me. They were loving their lives. They were sober, and they had bright futures that were only matched by their smiles. This totally through me for a loop as my thought of an alcoholic at the time looked for like the neighborhood panhandler (who honestly at the time probably had more than I did.) 

I went to meeting the very first night I got out of detox. I raised my hand. I got a sponsor. I got a coffee commitment. I made a great bunch of friends. The world was finally starting to click. I took the actions, and I got results. Just not the right results. At the time they seemed like great results, though, as for the first time in my life I felt some value. I ended up with a great job, almost 6 figures, my dream car, a wonderful girlfriend, a closet full of clothes that would keep the entire mall stocked all year round and a sock drawer I could swim in. My mother was proud of me. My grandmother was proud of me. I was "successful" and "sober" Everyone seemed to be patting me on the back as I walked by. Here's this troubled kid that came back to be a big shot. I took the role on well, as everyone including myself loves a comeback story. I thought I had life all figured out. All I had to do was work 7 days a week, go home to my girlfriend and buy whatever I wanted. IT WAS GREAT. One would think so anyway. I looked fantastic on the outside. Years Sober. My wrap sheet looked flawless. I really showed them. Everyone who wronged me, who doubted me, or who never gave me a chance. Look at me now. 

Except there was one problem, I couldn't look at me. I couldn't look in the mirror. I was full of fear, fear that I would lose what I had. Fearful that the girlfriend would leave me, the job would go and I'd be right back where God wanted the cracks. My self esteem was nonexistent, I was of no use to other people, I was unhappy. It was never enough. I took it all forgranted. I became a disgusting human sobriety. And then it happened. The job went. The girl went and suddenly...I'm stuck with me. You know how they say don't go into your head its a bad neighborhood? Well, mines like a warzone. Once again, everyone's fault and God wanted me down. A drink looked good, it looked damn good. My life in sobriety was completely unmanagable. I had no leg to stand on, I couldn't even rest on my laurels because those were gone too. Unable to breathe, unable to deal with another second of pain, guilt, shame and remorse, I drank.

That run brought me to suicide. I tried to kill myself. My grandmother found me on her floor dead. Luckily, I was revived. In the psych ward now, I was teetering on the line of trying to kill myself again. But I did something I haven't done since I was a kid. I prayed. I honestly prayed. I talked to God, like I would anyone else. I sought God, and god was there. With this moment of clarity, I wanted to waste no time. I called an old friend, who is now my sponsor, went into a sober house (which my pride and ego kept me out of my whole life) took time for others. I'm now currently in the middle of the steps with my sponsor, still living in the sober house, and just recently employed at a job where I'm making half the income I used to make. I don't own a car, and my sock drawer is significantly smaller.  I don't have any of the things I thought made me important before. But I found clarity. All I needed to do was ernestly seek God in my heart. The big book isn't a simple direction book I found. It's not meant to read like other books. You read it like you read music. You feel it. Feel the music. 

Today I'm a part of the community, I get to help others. I talk with God every day, and God talks back. I look in that mirror now and know when there's something wrong I know exactly where to point the finger...right there, at the man in the mirror. And when I'm looking for relief, I know where to look. Where I should have looked the whole time, but never did. Because God could and would if he were sought. Yes, I took the actions. This is an action program. We must take the steps to see the results. But, the whole point of this is for us to build a relationship with a power greater than ourselves, so don't be so focused on the man in the mirror that you can't hear the music.

Works Without Faith

Posted on 12 September, 2018 at 22:45 Comments comments (4992)


-September 12, 2018, New Haven CT

"Works without Faith"

Every drug addict and alcoholic that has ever opened up The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous will tell  you that faith without works is dead. A very true statement to propel us into doing the work in a take action program of recovery. I, myself, have always taken this warning into account in early sobriety as I was never one to "Just don't drink and go to meetings." A course of rigorous action always needed to be taken for me to expel the obsession to drink because of the one true problem I had...A bad case of sobriety. I was powerless indeed, when I started drinking I didn't know when I was going to stop, and when I stopped drinking, I had no idea when I would start again. Life with the drink became painful, but when I put it down, life itself became unbearable. So what happens when someone suffering from alcoholism puts the drink down? 

I've come to learn that the word Alcoholism is over 2000 years old, and yet, throughout history the language we used to describe the drink was always ales, lagers, barleys etc. It wasn't until about 200 years ago that the word Alcohol was coined in reference to booze, because alcohol = spirits. I don't think though, that the 2000 year old definition of alcoholism had anything to do with drinking. It was used to describe a spiritual malady, a seperation from one's spirit, a loneliness, a bitter feeling in one's heart of utter hopelessness and despair. This, my friends, is the true meaning of alcoholism.

So back to the original question. What happens when I put the drink down? My life gets worse. The feelings of utter hopelessness and despair come creeping in. I can't find any usefullness to my fellows, I am lonely, suicidal, and self pitying. I can't seem to connect to any beings, not even myself. The pain gets so deep that my only two options are the drink and death, and suddenly death starts to look pretty good, as I already know the momentarily relief from picking up will only be followed by more despair. I'm licked. I'm powerless. What am I going to do? I must get a power greater than myself. And I must believe in this power with all my heart.

Coming back from a run after years of sobriety has been really challenging. I thought I knew exactly what to do. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, get a commitment, and work th steps blah blah blah blah blah. And I wasn't wrong. These steps are imperative to one's recovery. The only way that we get the results is if we put in the work, if we work these 12 spiritual principles that will undoubtedly take me to a spiritual awakening. But what about ,"GOD?" This was my dilemma. In the past, I always looked at the steps as a higher power, and turning my will and my life over to the care of god just meant following through with the rest of the steps. In my experience, this was wrong. As great my experience has been from putting in the work it left me with one hole that would lead me to relapse over and over again...that hole was hope. That hole was faith that when I was down and out, when all looked grim, when impending doom was upon me, that I had a loving and caring god that would watch over me, and that this was all in the plan.

Seeing that I was at a crossroads with this dilemma, I now knew that I didn't know what to do to maintain sobriety. I certainly knew how to calculate the language of recovery talk, and I was able to comrepehnd the Big Book and write out steps and take action on the directions that were given to me by the steps, but I still didn't know how to do step one. By me knowing what to do, I kept my mind awake and my heart asleep. I closed my heart off to letting god in to guide me in my life. I then knew, that I didn't know, and God did. 

Forward to today. Life isn't that great. There's a lot of problems, and my depression still creeps in and out. But I wake up and I seek god, and my heart feels at peace. I take those actions that are so very important to my recovery, but I also take the inaction. The inaction of Faith. I do this because, yes, faith without works is dead....But in my experience, I have found that it is also the opposite...Works without faith, is also dead.